Best DotA facepalms

I'm making this thread to discuss your biggest "Oh God, we lost" moments, the moments where you just bang your head against the keyboard when you see your team doing horrible, horrible things.

I'm talking about these moments when you see a teammate doing something so bad that you *know* your purpose is doomed, and that your puny hero can do nothing to recover from this no matter how hard you try. Trolls don't count, if you see a Chen going Dagon 5, it's probably someone who knows how to play Chen well but who deliberately chooses not to. No, this is about people who *think* they are playing well but who are really, really not.

This is obviously for entertainment purposes and for poking fun at the nooby stuff you see here and there. No harm is meant to anyone. I apologize in advance for any excess sarcasm :P

Without further ado here's my own top list of facepalm moments :

- AFK farming Hand of Midas Enchantress. Whenever I see a midas enchantress I'm always like "GG we lost". And I'm very rarely wrong. Enchantress is one of the best early-game gankers, this hero is all about getting jungle creeps to get first blood at level 1, non-stop roaming in the first 15 minutes of the game, winning both your safe lane and your mid lane with constant ganks, pushing the midlane tower, getting 12-minute Rosh, etc. Ench is possibly the best early game hero in DotA. And instead of owning the first 15 minutes of the game, what do people do? They sit in the jungle for 15 minutes AFK farming, get Hand of Midas, and they don't do jack. Meanwhile you are playing 4 vs 5, you are losing your safe lane, you are losing mid, and the enemy carry is freefarming. GG noob Ench.
IMO this is the reason why Ench's winrate is so low, because pubs think she's a farming carry. It's even worse when a Chen is afk farming.

- Radiance. People have no freaking idea of what this item does and it's a source of many, many WTF moments. Nice 33-minute Radiance, Bloodseeker. Think that it will help you with anything? Killing creeps with blood bath to get HP, huh? Because yeah, that's worth spending 5k gold on an item that does nothing, has zero late game, doesn't help you gank in any way, and doesn't break TP scrolls. Ever heard about actually useful items on your hero, like basher or BKB? Nice radiance, Enigma : ever heard about BKB or refresher orb? Nice radiance, Phantom Lancer, why the hell are you even fighting with us and not farming when you screwed your supports for 20 minutes just to get a farming item - Nice 380 GPM also, sure it shows how good radiance PL is, there's absolutely no way in hell that a PL with just diffusal-manta can get 700 GPM. Nice radiance, Broodmother, sure it's great to push out lanes, but a small detail...ever heard about Necronomicon? Nice radiance, Abaddon - by the way did you see that our team has no mek and no wards or are you just too radiant to notice it? Nice radiance, Necrophos, it's really a great item to bring down the HP of the enemy Zeus quickly and there's absolutely no way he can one-shot you in 2 seconds, besides Pipe of Insight is for hippies, right?
So yeah, lots of radiance, lots of headaches ^^

- AFK jungle Axe. This one is just so nonsensical that I have no idea why people even *do* that, but they do. They even do that in 5K MMR. And it's awful. Because yeah, since Axe has such good AOE ability, why not use it to clear jungle camps during the whole game. People saying that Axe is one of the best laning heroes, one of the best mid-game teamfight heroes, and has garbage late game? They're just liars.

- Mid or feed Russian Pudge. Well he doesn't have to be Russian but he often is, let's just say he rarely speaks English. Hey, you just first picked Templar Assassin and called mid. Great! Now this prick last picks Pudge and calls mid or feed. You still go mid because you have no choice (your team already has a safelane carry), and this prick is stalking you, refuses to move out, and says cyka blyat. And you are reduced to playing solo offlane TA if you want to avoid a riot. Not to mention that he doesn't even know how to play Pudge, feeds first blood, and ends up 3/15/3 or something - all while insulting his team in russian. GG noob Pudge.

- Joke carries. Sometimes it's really fun to carry with heroes who aren't meant to, but when you are playing support and an Earthshaker/ Treant Protector/ Windranger/ Abaddon/ Night Stalker/ Centaur Warrunner / Spirit Breaker/whatever goes for the safe lane farming role then you are like "oh God we lost". And you do.

- Alchemist maxing Greevil's Greed. So, you just saw a teammate pick carry Alch and you picked Vengeful Spirit thinking "hey, let's get some early kills with 6 second of stun and -12 armor reduction". Then you ping a guy, you stun, you wave, and this douchebag just sits there hitting creeps because he didn't even skill his stun. But all is not lost, he has 3 points in Greevil's Greed! Well...you still lose your lane though. Bonus points if he calls "noob Venge no harass".

- Vanguard. Thankfully I've gotten out of that bracket and I'm not seeing this anymore, but whenever I saw a Viper, Razor or Dark Seer making Vanguard and having to make Mek as a support Skywrath Mage (the poorest support ever), I was really out of my mind.

- GG no BKB. Yeah, Black King Bar is not that popular in pubs, but did you ever play against a lineup like Spectre/ Invoker/ Earthshaker/ Jakiro/ Tidehunter, build a BKB on your support Vengeful Spirit, and after losing a teamfight realize that you're the only one in your team who has a BKB (but your Clinkz has 3 Daedalus)? Yeah, that happens. And the funniest thing is that these fools are still forcing teamfights thinking they have a chance. Again, bonus point if they call you a noob or swear in russian when you tell them to go get a BKB :P

But the number 1 facepalm goes without hesitation to :

- Going for the throne when pushing the enemy base. This is the holy Grail of absolute game-throwing noobiness. So, you got all the outer towers and you were sieging the enemy base for 15 minutes without being able to break in. But *finally* you won that big teamfight that allows you to push in, and you immediately get the mid T3 tower and barracks. Yeah! It's about time, because they have better late game and you need to finish the game fast. Even better news, you still have 20 seconds before the enemy heroes respawn, and you can get more than just mid rax. And...what do these noobs, these ******* scrub teamates do? They go for the throne. These **** teammates try to go for GG when they obviously have no time for it and THEY COMPLETELY DISREGARD THE FACT THAT THEY CAN GET TOP OR BOTTOM RAX FREELY, and this despite you spamming the chat like "get top rax, no don't go throne get top now". Man, this greediness is unbelievable. So, instead of getting *double rax* (two lanes of rax means GG in 98% of games), they get maybe ONE T4 tower which does *absolutely nothing* and then they are forced to go back, and this is if they don't feed because they don't realize that the whole enemy team just respawned. And then, you lose the game, because mid rax are worth almost nothing compared to sidelane rax, so you didn't get any advantage from your push. This generally goes with teammates chasing heroes to their fountain when they should be pushing rax and then feeding just to not even get rax. GG greedy team. Last game I had to make Necronomicon on Bloodseeker simply to compensate for teammates' complete incompetence when it comes to pushing.

These are the things I can think of for now, but obviously there are a lot of other ones.

What are your biggest DotA facepalms?

Here are the ones I've encountered the most.

- The baffling number of people who think they can man-fight Huskar one on one without any proper damage items. Like seriously, I don't get that - His job is to beat you one on one.

- People who hell at me to initiate on someone for a gank when I'm using support Skywrath Mage or Silencer and they are the ones with the stun...

- People who hell at me when I disappear from lane briefly to stack or to ward.

- People who hell at me when I have no items and aren't seen to be contributing damage to the team-fight despite the fact I've been buying wards for the entire game, and have instead been disabling the enemy damage dealers, winning us multiple consecutive team-fights.

- People who yell when I die in a team fight as Shadow Shaman despite have dropped Mass Serpent Wards and helped get kills, or lanes of racks. Or just dying in a team fight in general despite the fact I'm made of paper, and they are the only person on the team with a worse K/D/A ratio.

- The baffling number of times that people think me using Shackles on the full health Ursa is the proper time to stop running, turn and fight him when they are at less than half health.

Basically just when people are idiotic around me trying to be a support.

I had this one game where everything went wrong....
First off I said I was going solo offlane as Centaur Warrunner (which worked well)
THEN! We had my friend pick Huskar which was horrible considering we already had a mid Pudge who was good. More so everything went down-hill when this guy picked Puck right at the end and said he was going mid... I was angry at this point because WHEN DO YOU GET 3 F***ING MID HEROES PICKED?!? What was worse was I ended up laning against a Clockwerk which I was happy soloing but our Earthshaker decided he would stay down bot do nothing when he could've gone top with Puck and Huskar and owned the Axe who was encountering the creep wave early between our tier 1 and 2 towers. Then we hit mid game... I ganked helped get our team a couple of kills along with the ones Pudge had been getting... then it got worse... Huskar (my friend) had fed the Axe so I died trying to kill him. So despite my continual farming and helping of the team we lost for numerous reasons which really pissed me off.
1. We had 3 mid heroes...
2. Our support ES wasn't the best.
3. WE HAD NO CARRY!!!

- I have had two different games where someone on my team picked Enchantress and didn't even level up enchant. They were dps enchantress's.

Driving away Axe from that spot is quite easy, especially with 2 ranged heroes. You just run up to him and hit. Especially with Burning Spears. Then you hit some more.



Radiance has more than just one use - pushing. People get it on half of those heroes you mentioned there (ok, not at 33 minutes, but rushing it), for multiple reasons :

They just become decoys in early teamfights. Once a Radiance pops up in the game, the enemy team has to make a choice : Do I kill the guy that is burning my team to death 15 minutes in, that has close to 1k HP + who knows what other ways to get more EHP ( Aphotic Shield, Bristleback, blood bath, etc). Or do I just kill their main carry that deals damage anyway? It's a hard choice to make 15 mins into the game.

Because if you get Radiance on illusion carries, and get shut down after that, you are going to regret geting it and would wish for something else (except Chaos Knight, who doesn't get radiance by a standard).

This is why Radiance on Terrorblade is a poor choice, but Radiance on let's say Centaur Warrunner or Bristleback is really strong.

Tales from the potato bracket of pubs!

-Axe hardcarry. Literally skull basher, battlefury, mjollnir. We won, but only thanks to invoker.

-Afk farming prophet. I know this still happens at even 4k and higher mmr. Still sucks. 4v5 for approximately 30 minutes.

-Riki radiance rush. AKA: rrr. I'm not even going to comment.

-Getting told that Mirana is a mid hero after asking for offlane. Yes ik she works mid.

-Getting yelled at for not farming midas first thing on AM.

-Tidehunter players that ulti for a single gank at LATE GAME.

-Disruptors who save enemies with glimpse.

To name a few =)

I thought a Core position Night Stalker Or a farming Spirit Breaker was legit?
My real facepalm is when people try to Roshan when they really can't and roshan ends up with a triple kill. It's happened to me once ._.

- When people are randoming heroes in All Pick

- When Keeper of the Light is ****ing you up with Recall on purpose

- When Necrophos says he wants to be a safe lane carry and he is buying Arcane Boots and then Force Staff

- Any Sniper

- People saying that Bristleback is OP

- Picking made-of-paper heroes like Shadow Shaman or Leshrac when the enemy team has Zeus

- When my team has 3 supports - Sand King, Lina and Lich and noone bought Animal Courier or wards

- Treant Protector stealing all the farm on lane with his enormous base damage

- Each Leshrac that is using Diabolic Edict and dies under a tower like a moron

- Weaver using Time Lapse after quick buyback when he got like 8% of HP for 10 seconds before he died

- When I am playing a roaming support Jakiro level 8, while Meepo in my team is level 10

- Wraith King with Refresher Orb

- Typical - MAGNUS, NO! moments when he is dragging an enemy Earthshaker to our team

- As mentioned: Anti-Mage with Hand of Midas

- Players who refuse to communicate

- Aghanim's Scepter on Nature's Prophet or Outworld Devourer

- Flamers, leavers, afkers

- That moment when you see that only 9/10 players accepted to join a match

Pudge. Seriously, I just hate that hero D:
I can't think of a situation when he would actually be useful. He loses his lane about 99% of the time and I there is always some other hero that does his job better.

Every outworld devourer. EZ win mid right? Huh, why am i getting stomped by a brewmaster? How does a tinker solo kill me?
And even worse, OD's who make aghanim.

Battlefury juggernaut. IM SUCH A HARD CARRY.
Battlefury bounty hunter that doesnt gank once.

Every slark whenever im in a bit low matchmaking. Cant lasthit, rely on feeding off an even worse player on the other team. 50 lasthits after 40 minutes.

Beastmasters who build as a carry.

Players who dont get blink on heroes where its absolute core on like centaur, slardar and brewmaster.

Jungling any carry.

Pretty much all snipers and all drow's.