Forum Game: Crush the Wish

This is a game my friends and I used to play on a forum quite a while ago, I thought it'd be fun to bring it here...

Bascically, one person makes a wish, and another person replies, writing how the wish goes wrong, and then leaving a wish of their own for another to do the same.

Example:
"I wish I could live in the Bahamas"

>>Your plane crashes into the ocean and you die"
>>I wish *insert wish here*

I'll start it off:

I wish I had a billion dollars

As 1 Billion Dollars mysteriously materialises into your wallet, the sheer volume of quarters causes the wallet to explode, showering you in shrapnel, killing you instantly.

I wish I had a Chocolate Monkey

Your chocolate monkey flings chocolate monkey poo at you unit you suffocate.

I wish I was Axe

Your wish backfired and you got turned into Crystal Maiden.

I wish this thread would continue for a long while.

Ohhhh, that's dirty :/

The thread continues for a while, but you mysteriously die and never live to see it go any further

I wish I could get perfect cs

Treant Protector.

I wish I could carry as a Crystal Maiden...

You play a game of Dota and the reality sets in.. "The only thing you're fit to carry is wards."

I wish I could land Kunkka's Ghost Ship.

You land a ship, but everyone pops Blade Mail at the lat second, and you die

I wish I didn't lose to those russians earlier tonight

You end up beating them! Turns out the people you beat were Vladmir Putin and the leaders of the Russian Mafia, they promptly hunt you down and throw you in a black van. No one hears from you again.

I wish people wouldn't instapick Medusa anymore.

People instapick Meepo without even knowing what controll groups are, and feed :p

I wish I could beat Lifestealer, because that is impossible :x