The pro pub player (2)

Soon after the Riki incident, I reached the point in pubs where nobody plays the stupid invisible goat anymore. That has nothing to do with my story today, but I felt like mentioning it.

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The Mirana
This one happened just today. Recently I had been using the community market in order to get items. Mostly for Omniknight and Invoker, so I decided to pick the former for this game.

This is how my team composition looked:

-

Mirana
- Omniknight
- Phantom Assassin
- Spirit Breaker
- Puck


And this is how the enemy team looked:

-

Viper
- Huskar
- Jakiro
- Legion Commander
- Vengeful Spirit


As you can probably guess, I wanted Omniknight In order to counter their three carries. The plan I had in my head was this: (Keep in mind I was on the Radiant team) Mirana and Spirit Breaker top, Puck mid. That would leave me and Phantom Assassin bottom.

As with the Riki tale, there were signs which showed me my game was going to go south quickly. The first of these was the Mirana's name. "Easy win, noobs!" That was her name.

The second sign was her lane knowledge. She insisted on going offlane, and I said that was fine by me. Then when the game started she went bot. Needless to say, I was confused. The Mirana then asked me to leave the 'offlane'. I could tell she didn't know what offlane meant, so I just said this:
"Mirana, I think Phantom Assassin would prefer an actual support than another carry."
This was replied with:
"Noob, get out of the offlane or I will report you. I want first blood"

After she said this, an image flashed into my mind of one of the report options saying "Noob just dun stole mah lane".

I decided to ignore her, and we started tri-laning bot. Mirana's items consisted of four Claritys and a Wraith Band.

During the lane (we were facing Huskar and Legion commander) Mirana constantly threw arrows and harassed. I will give her one thing, she was a great arrow aimer. She never missed that entire game, save one. We actually did end up getting first blood, and second. I thought that Mirana would be pleased that Phantom Assassin claimed both kills, but...God why do I expect good things of players like her?

She simply said on all-chat: "Wtf killstealer. Report Phantom noob."

At this point I was literally typing with my face as I bashed it against the keyboard. I look at the screen again, and every single player (I had managed to find an all-English speaking server. When does that happen?) was all-chatting responses telling her to shut up, or learn dota.

The match progressed and as it did so, Mirana's item choices were spiralling lower and lower on my respect chart. For example, let me post a link to the dotabuff page for that match. you'll see odd things.

The dotabuff page

Somewhere between 20-25 minutes, she started to feed their Viper up. She denied any person pointing this out, and KEPT GOING BACK TO THE SAME LANE AS VIPER in order to farm. There was a whole lane where nothing was happening. Luckily for us, however, their Legion kept on duelling our Phantom Assassin when I was around. Our phantom ended up with 8 duel victories.

Oh yeah, Mirana also felt that she had the right to call The legion a noob.

By the end of the game, Mirana had just stopped talking and continued to feed. We still won though.