Forge of Creation #3 - Voting !

Forge of Creation voting people ! Round 3, this time involving lore.

Each lore has "marking guidelines", based on which you'll be able to rate the lore. The categories are :

• Relashionship - Your story must not be way too out of place (has to still relate to the dota 2 universe - containing the heroes's names for example makes you eligibile for this)
• Length - Nobody is here to read dime novels. Make sure it is of proper length, not too short but not too long either.
• Originality - New elements in each story? How original do you think each is? And why?
• Coherence - This is mostly about making each of them readable. Possitioning in the page, placing every comma or question mark is important here. You are making these so people read it, and if people get tired reading it... there's no point in making them.

Unscathed

R: 8.5
L: 7.5
O: 8
C: 8

I like the poem! I feel that some parts are exactly necessary, hence the lower length score.

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ThreadOfFate

R: 7.5
L: 9
O: 8
C: 7:5

Great story! I think you missed his 'illusions' and all his plane shifting, hence the lower relationship score.

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Terathial

R: 9
L: 8
O: 8
C: 7.5

I love this lore! It is short and concise. Well done.

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Porygon361

R: 9
L: 7
O: 8.5
C: 8

Wonderful! It is a little long, as you have said. Brilliantly written, though. GJ

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That's all for now, folks!

EDIT: Continuing:

Smuggels(time to be strict!)

R: 7
L: 8
O: 7
C: 7

Mind your punctuation and capitals... xD Very entertaining, though.

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Cuttleboss]\

R: 7
L: 8.5
O: 8.5
C: 7.5

Very interesting, but somehow doesn't have to do much with Abbadon himself, only the mist is mentioned.

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KoDyAbAbA

R: 7.5
L: 8
O: 8
C: 5

Very awesome storyline, I really enjoyed it. However, you should try to put it through spell-check at least once, as you have a lot of missing spaces and capitals! :D

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BKvoiceover

R: 8.5
L: 8
O: 8.5
C: 9

So. Freaking. Good. No words.

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kkoopman3

R: 8
L: 7.5
O: 8
C: 8.5

Short, concise, and straight to the point. Great job, kkoopman!

EDIT EDIT: Thank you Smuggelllllllllls for pointing out I didn't mark Yzreel.

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Yzreel

R: 7
L: 9
O: 8
C: 8.5

Doesn't have a clear relationship with the dota-verse, thus the lower Relationship score. Very optimal length, though.

Well....Let's get started.

Unscathed
R: 9
L: 8.5
O: 7
C: 8
It's a nice change to the original lore, and the poem/song idea is cool.

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Terathiel
R: 7.5
L: 9
O: 8
C: 8
I did take into account your inexperience with BB, but it was good either way.

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Porygon
R: 9
L: 6.5
O: 8.5
C: 8
It fits Invoker perfectly IMO, but it's a lot of text.

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Yzreel
R: 7
L: 9
O: 7.5
C: 8
I feel that you downplayed the godliness of Zeus a bit.

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Smuggels
R: 6
L: 5
O: 9
C: 7
Wall of text, much. I didn't feel like it fit Axe much. Fun read, though.

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Cuttleboss
R: 7
L: 8.5
O: 9
C: 8
Pretty damn good. It fits into Dota's world great.

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TheSofa
R: 7
L: 6
O: 8
C: 8
POWER OF THE RAINBOW (kappa)

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KoDyAbAbA
R: 8
L: 6
O: 8
C: 5.5
A little wall-of-text-y. But good.

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BKVoiceover
R: 8
L: 6
O: 9
C: 7.5
Broken carry, Fixed lore <3

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kkoopman3
R: 8.5
L: 8
O: 6.5
C: 8
Well done, simple but no real issues.

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Thread: 10/10/10/10 <3

considering i wrote it in 5 minutes, im good :D.

Unscathed
R: 9
L: 8
O: 7
C: 8
It's a nice change to the original lore, and the poem/song idea is cool.
Thread Of Fate
R:7
L:9
O:8
C:8
I don't like Phantom Lancer.
Terathiel
R: 8
L: 9
O: 8
C: 8
I did take into account your inexperience with BB, but it was good either way.
Porygon
R: 9
L: 6
O: 8.5
C: 8
A bit too long don't you think?
Yzreel
R: 7
L: 9
O: 8
C: 8
I feel that you downplayed the godliness of Zeus a bit.
Smuggels
R: 8
L: 5
O: 9
C: 7.5
very very innovative in my opinion. like the dance of death thingy. a bit too long but.
Cuttleboss
R: 7
L: 8
O: 9
C: 8
damn good but i dont like the color yellow :c
TheSofa
R: 7
L: 6
O: 8
C: 8
length boys, length
KoDyAbAbA
R: 8
L: 6
O: 8
C: 6
I know i suck :D. have playe magnus twice and written in 5 minutes soo....
BKVoiceover
R: 8
L: 6
O: 9
C: 7
niiiiiiice
kkoopman3
R: 8
L: 7
O: 8
C: 7
a bit too simple in my opinion and not well rounded in my opinion

A lot of those comments are mine :l....And you also didn't give me a vote.

How much of that was copy/pasted -_-

all of it :3

edit:im so lazy :3

Then don't be, and vote.

aww **** ill edit it right away

Unscathed:

Relationship: 8
Length: 8.5
Originality: 9
Coherence: 7

The poem aspect of his lore is really cool, length is kept in check, and the connections were obviously there. However there were some structure errors that made the poem sound strange at times.

ThreadOfFate:

Relationship: 6
Length:8
Originality: 8
Coherence: 7.5

A cool view into Nessaj's past, but the only relationship to the dota universe that was made clear was Diretide.

Terathiel:

Relationship: 9
Length: 7.5
Originality: 7
Coherence: 8.5

An obvious relationship to the dota universe but it lost points in originality for relating it to Tusk. Overall grammar and sentence structure was good however.

porygon361:

Relationship: 9.5
Length: 7
Originality: 8
Coherence: 9

Love how you brought his individual spells into the lore. It's a little long, but is very original and very well written. Invoker is the new Shadow Demon, lore wise.

Yzreel:

Relationship: 7.5
Length: 8.5
Originality: 8
Coherence: 8

Making Zeus sound more like a badass, I like it.

Smuggels:

Relationship: 7
Length: 6
Originality: 9
Coherence: 8

Really long, but very deep. A great story all in all. Not much of a connection to the dota universe however other than the red mist and Battle Hunger.

Cuttleboss:

Relationship: 8.5
Length: 8
Oringality: 8.5
Coherence: 9

Connection to the mist and the Nyx, and after I read the last paragraph I took a look at Abaddon's helmet to see that it looks a lot like a Nerubian's head. Cool relationship there. Great story all in all.

TheSofa:

Relationship: 8
Length: 9
Originality: 7.5
Coherence: 8.5

Beautiful storytelling, the start of the last paragraph made me cry a little bit :')

koDyAbAba:

Relationship: 9
Length: 7
Originality: 7.5
Coherence: 8.5

I love the relationship to Beastmaster and Magnus's abilities but the actually plot of the story feels very similar to his current lore, thus the decreased originality score.

kkoopman3:

Relationship: 7.5
Length: 8.5
Originality: 8.5
Coherence: 9

Short, sweet, and to the point. However other than the mentioning of Dazzle joining a battle there is really no other relationship to the dota universe.

Alrighty then, I think that's it for me. Great work from everyone, and may the best writer win :)

-BK