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How to take constructive criticism?

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Forum » General Discussion » How to take constructive criticism? 18 posts - page 2 of 2
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Nubtrain » November 21, 2014 4:36am | Report

Nubtrain. If you observe the steam load screen it says some things of wisdom.
Be kind to new players, everyone has to start somewhere.
Remain calm, it is just a game.

I point these at you and insinuate one thing: You owe him nothing. He is not anakin and you are not yoda. He never came for advice. Constructive criticism starts with the willingness of the receiver.

Next time someone plays bad tell them they need help, thats it. You owe people nothing like the world owes you nothing;it came first. Period.


Welcome back, he's not a new player.

You're all misunderstanding something here, I'm not giving critic to his play. I'm responding to ****'s behavior throughout both games.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Sando » November 21, 2014 5:25am | Report
It's a tricky situation Nubtrain, I think we've all had situations where people we've ended up grouped with have behaved badly or have a terrible attitude...and it's difficult to know the best way of dealing with it.

The problem with people like **** is that they're some mix of arrogant/immature/insecure, everything is someone else's fault and they don't want to listen. Unfortunately DOTA and other MOBAs tend to bring out the worst in some people.

I think your one mistake was to go in "hot" - it's obviously something that's been bugging you for a while with him, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Always better to calm down and reflect before trying to engage them, as you can be more constructive and careful with the way you put things. People like that are incredibly intolerant of any kind of criticism, even well intentioned and constructive.

Tbh it is worth trying to do something about it, but I think the odds were always against you - he doesn't want to listen, improve or open his mind even a crack. I wouldn't take that personally, it's his problem, not yours.

Personally, I usually just try to avoid playing with people like that - maybe it means you get a random with your 4 stack, but at least then it's pot luck instead of someone you know will cause problems, and you can slag them off to your friends afterwards without any issues :).

I've had to "leave behind" some of the people I learnt with from the start because they never developed their game or became a chore to play with. It's a shame, but ultimately you want to enjoy the game as much as possible, not be falling out with people. It can be difficult when you want them to adapt but they don't regard you as a teacher, for whatever reason.

Don't think any of us can always claim to have all the answers - and if you do you're probably mistaken. There are so many ways and perspectives on how to play, and you can't necessarily say they're "right" or "wrong", or at least consider the possibilities first.

For example, me and Timmy recently disagreed on Blink Dagger or Shadow Blade on Slark. I respect his opinion, hopefully he respects mine too. We might both have learnt something, or helped someone else understand the arguments better.

Most of you probably know my feelings on Hand of Midas in general, and it's frequently reflected in my guides :). Not everyone will agree, but it's my perspective!
A full list of my guides is here

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Kyphoid returns » November 21, 2014 5:27am | Report
There are unforgiving newbs trust me trench players do have attitudes like that. Even if new players complain about how steam communities are dogmatic they themselves are dogmatic too; they are immune to self introspection.

What i want to put forth is the fact that nobody would listen to anyone unless he is willing himself. It doesnt change just because hes your friend.
Next time advise people who value it and expext you to correct them or guide them. Do tjis to anyone on dota fire and they will take it hale and hearty. It is human nature, not to be confused with he's **** or what not.

Trust me, i speak from experience.
I have also been on his side and unfriended my childhood friend on this silly game. The game is there to entertain; next time try and be in cahoots with him, feed together laugh together on how u both suck at it.
Even if he flames you give him his yeah i got experience treatment, not seriously though.

Btw
M kyphoid
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Safecyn » November 21, 2014 5:52am | Report
Are you familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect, Nubtrain?

It's this cognitive bias that happens in a competitive environment like this: unskilled players tend to rate themselves as much more competent than they are, while more competent players tend to rate their abilities lower, assuming that anyone can do what they do. Their paper on the subject, if you wanted to read it, of course, is called "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments" And here's a link, even:

http://psych.colorado.edu/~vanboven/teaching/p7536_heurbias/p7536_readings/kruger_dunning.pdf

Results tend to show that people can improve their own self-assessment after some tutoring on the subject, though your friend seems to be quite closed off to that. You could always try the '1v1 me bro' approach: challenge him to a game and wipe the floor with him, then see if he's willing to take your advice. It could work.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Romark14 » November 21, 2014 6:19am | Report
Safecyn wrote:

You could always try the '1v1 me bro' approach: challenge him to a game and wipe the floor with him, then see if he's willing to take your advice. It could work.


I've seen this happen, and it was 2 Shadow Fiends mid. Friend was playing random (who flamed him A LOT in game) and after 2 mins random was leading, slightly, on cs. Then friend got a Bottle and random didn't, it turned into a **** storm. He got completely ruined. Friend walked away head held high while random said 'you only won because of your item choice'... ... Erm? That's kinda the point!

TLDR; Some people can never accept things, even if clearly laid out in front of them.
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Rat doto <- when enemy does it.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Safecyn » November 21, 2014 6:56am | Report
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

--Confucius

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Kyphoid returns » November 21, 2014 7:23am | Report
Safecyn wrote:

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

--Confucius

^THiS.
Go On, Feed Me.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » November 21, 2014 4:30pm | Report
Safecyn wrote:

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

--Confucius

YESSSSH. Im always into the ignorance stuff.
Don't Worry, Be Happy

Late credits to Janitsu for the sig

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