The Svenmeister

Introduction (for MEN!)

WARNING: This guide is written with a highly abusive language, with sexism and with alittle rascism (Maybe). You have been warned.

Are you tired of the other carries hitting harder than you?! Are you tired playing like a ****ing *****, just to win a single game a day?! Are you ready to play Sven the real way?! Then this guide is the right for you!

But! First of all, playing the real ****ing SVENMEISTER, requires time and commitment! And huge set of ****ing balls! And if you don't have such, go play Bloodseeker, you ****ing *****!

And know you wonder, what makes this build different from all the other Sven builds? This is the ****ing Svenmeister build! The only TRUE build, is the Svenmeister build, and never think otherwise.

Now let's run through the fancy list all the other "guides" have!

Pick Sven if you want to ****ing carry your groupies (your team) to ****ing amazing facerolling victory!
If you want to ****slap all those other "Ranged agillity carry" *****es! Bicthes liek Drow Ranger needs needs a good beating!
You want spammed with groupie-requests on Steam because you are so ****ing MANLY!
If you want to engage the ****ing real MAN-MODE! that only the Svenmeister possesses!

When to not ****ing pick the Svenmeister!

If the enemy team has a Bloodseeker! That ****faced ******* replaces your huge ****ing balls with an oozing *****! Dat **** sucks!
If you're playing with a ****ing carry team! Dat **** is your farm, not theirs!
Why the **** would you NOT play him?!

Pros & Cons!

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Pros + Huge ****ing damage! + Sick Movement speed buffs! + Easily wins 1v2's late game + You're the Svenmeister!

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Cons - Melee Carry (Like a man) - Low mana pool! But it's only *****es who casts spells! - Needs a good groupie (support)

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Items

1. First buys!

You want to stay in lane an farm those little suicidal groupies that run around! Therefor you want the Health Points to simply shrug off that *****y damage people try to throw upon you! Buy at least two gauntlet of strength! And you also need regen for when you feel like gaining abit of ****ing health! Just for the fun of it, buy some Tangos and a Healing Salve.
Then you want to rush dem Boots of Speed because those *****es want to run from you! And if you have boots and farm, you can **** them up badly! And shortly after you need a Bracer! Simply too good pricewise to pass.

Getting that maelstorm!

Maelstorm is the most farmtastic item in the entire ****ing GAME! (There is Mjollnir, but that is just a more awesome Maelstorm) I allways rush this item after getting my Phase Boots because it simply makes my manliness so much more MANLY! It buffs your already great farming skills with both an extra "cleave" proc. and with good damage and attack speed! And it's a ****ing VIKING HAMMER! GET IT!

Mid-late game

The other items pretty much speak for themselves! But remember, ALWAYS use Warcry first, followed by Drum of Endurance and end it with using Phase Boots to reach around 500 movement speed for maximum pwnage! Wreck dem *****es!

Skills

Storm Hammer This skill is the second most sexy ability in the game! 300 damage with an 2 sec AoE stun?! Sick **** brah! You need this to initiate on the ****ing ******ed fat children that is your enemy team! Max this ****!

Storm hammer is risky to use, because of your low mana pool and it's "high" cost, but the cost is worth the damned spell.
Only use it if you are ready to pick a ****ing fight! If you can't handle the Storm Hammer you can't handle the Svenmeister, and you should leave this instant! Shush, noob!

Great Cleave You want this ****, because it makes your farm better! And everyone wants more farm! And in team fights, combined with your other ****, you'll hit their whole team like a rampaging rape train!

Warcry This **** makes you tougher and faster! You want this ****, and you know it! And it's nearly ****ing free! 25 mana?! Duuuude!

Only costs 25 mana! Shiiiiiit maaan!
Buffs not only you, but also your groupies.

God's Strength This amazing spell is your bread and butter! This is the source of your power! This is when Sven channels the power of his enormous testicles into his muscles and begins ripping EVERYTHING to shreds! IN ****ING AoE! *****es and hoes fall before you, dropping cash and money where you walk!

Sooooo muuuuch DAMAGE!
Get used to hearing "rampage".
Eat bacon, then right click.
You turn the **** red! RED LIKE ****ING BLOOD!
This **** will be AoE with

Great Cleave

Working with the groupies!

The Svenmeister loves working together with:

Crystal Maiden: This is your ****ing wife, man! This hoe is the best laning partner you can get, so get her! Mana regen for your expensive high mana cost abilities, combined with a slow and immobilize combo! She is the best you can get!

Vengeful Spirit: This is your wifes sister! And yeah, Sven can handle more than one girl at a time! This groupie can stun, reduce armor and buff your already amazing muscles! Get her, if you can't manage his wife!

Shadow Shaman: This guy is your niggah broh! This is the man version of your wife! This bro can ****ing CC the **** out of the enemy teams *****es, and damage them too! This guy is just as ****ing good as Vengeful Spirit but ain't a hoe! But a bro can sometimes replace a hoe!

The Svenmeister hates:

Bloodseeker: This vagina queen has a way of removing your giant balls with a bleed ****! You don't want that ****! Also he regains health when something dies. This arsehat needs to be ****ED UP!

Anti-Mage: This dude ****s with your manapool! It's not that he hurts, he's just ****ing annoying! And nobody likes an annoying brown skinned ****** that can escape by a click of a button! ****ing ***.

Razor This dude eats your power, because he is such a ****ing noob himself! **** him! Nobody likes a thief who needs others to get ****ing kills. Rip this throat out and poop in his corpse!

Ending!