Blog Series: The lesson's taught to us by Dota.

Hello fellow Dotafire members.

in a Lull of writing while my Manu (manuscript) gets edited and feeling like "eh i cbf starting on book 3" i thought, in my current mental state of boredom, i should maybe start a blog series on my thoughts concerning our beloved game.

Mostly this series will be about certain situations and how they relate to real life. I expect there will be some existential musing on the theory of all and maybe some raging at scrubs or just personal thoughts relating to my everyday life. In fact this series will be me just talking about everything and anything while relating it all to Dota. If that seems like something you guys would love to read then throw down some comments and thoughts and DISCUSSION SHALL ARISE, like a Aegis holding Enigma.

I recently have been playing Juggernaut a fair bit and it was after a match where i dominated sometimes and fed in others i thought to watch the game back and see where i went wrong or where i went right? or left?

It was during this replay that i thought to look at the other players perspective. something i only do when i feel i was cheated "DAMN YOU GABE" "DAMN YOU RUSSIA". I was surprised at how the enemy played would see me in lane by myself and then wrap around for a gank and then and then he would pause. PAUSE. why the pause i thought, why would he be sitting there for 5-10 seconds. none of his team-mates are coming. he has full mana and hp and he has all his spells up. why not see you were in position and go for me?

why the hesitation.

Does he think i know he's there?
my team mates just showed themselves top pushing tier 2.
why is he waiting?
what is he waiting for?
he knows i dont have omni slash
he knows i am at half HP

i was justifiably perplexed about this 10 second pause. in which time one of my supports had ported bottom and was approaching the lane.

THEN

he decided to jump me. blink meld strike but what's this a wild dazzle appears and graves me and i turn pop healing ward and mask of madness and slash through you in seconds.

i was dumbfounded at how this easy kill on me was ultimately turned around all because of this one pause.

this momentary hesitation.

i was INTRIGUED.

INTENSELY INTRIGUED.

That one pause cost them two towers and 3 kills. It cost them a high priority kill on a Pos 1. All because what?

WHAT?

I wanted to know WHY!!!

and i realised its not like i can just message him and ask. so i did the next best thing and watched some games of mine when i felt i did something similar.

THERE was one. I paused for 8 seconds while ganking as a ember when if i didnt i would have got a kill.

ANOTHER ONE. I paused for 11 seconds as a faceless void in some tree's and when i did go in the ultimate i thought was on CD had just come off and i was face raped.

And Another, And Another.... and i kept seeing these all over the games. not just me doing it but when someone else is ganking or playing i noticed it.

are they waiting for the perfect time and in doing so miss it?

i tried to get back into the mindset i was in when i did the pause, the mind set i held when i hesitated. It was hard but eventually i thought it was because a " i dont want to die" thought invades your conciousness, is that true? does everyone have those thoughts? but its a game who cares about dying? or is it that us as humans have such a survival instinct that it translates to games as well? are we that hard wired for survival that our brain short circuits itself for a second or two when we do something risky?

in retrospect i honestly dont think that is the case. We are a generation that has been brought up on games where the character we play usually has multiple endings and mostly they are in gruesome or hilarious ways. i dont think that we have those thoughts. but i do know what thought i have a lot of.

"I Dont Want To Fail"

This i believe is the cause of our hesitation, this i believe is what stops us from acting straight away. It hinders us and hampers us when playing dota. it causes problems for us in real life too. The thought of FAILURE is something that a lot of us have strong feelings about.

You dont want to fail at Dota.

You dont want to fail at School.

You dont want to fail at relationships.

You dont want to fail your Family, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, boss or Friend.

You dont want to fail at Life.

That thought of failure is so strong that it takes hold of us for that momentary portion of time and cancels our instincts, it holds us ransom in our own body. Why do we allow this to happen?

i wonder how things would be if we didnt fear failure. We didnt fear the shame and sense of disappointment.

i wonder how our lives would improve?

i wonder how our Games would improve?

From now on i will devote myself to eradicating that fear. i will assess risk but i wont be afraid of them. i will act without hesitation. i will strive, not to be successful because of the fear BUT in SPITE of it.

Imagine if you will that you were not afraid of failing when chatting up girls?

imagine if you weren't afraid of failing when you approached that job interview?

imagine if you weren't afraid of failing when you went for that final buzzer beater shot?

The confidence you would have, the clarity of thought, the peace of mind.

You see that solo support in lane and instead of being afraid of failing to kill a solo support you assess the risks. all top, half hp, no creep wave, half mana. go. and instead of pausing instead of hesitating. you just.

went.

Now lets try that in life.

you see a cute girl that you know. you like her. she is with a friend. no boys around. she doesnt have a boyfriend.go.

and instead of hovering around like a creep or asking other people whether or not she likes you or maybe asking a work colleague to talk to her first or instead of just being weird and staring for 5 minutes you just.

went.

"hi how are you? blah blah blah"

Fear holds us back in Dota as well as in Life. it is Fear of failing or Fear of rejection or fear of falling or fear of public speaking or fear of .... you get the idea. We all have these fears. It is a mark of a Strong person if they can overcome those fears, or do it in spite of them.

I had a Terrific fear of public speaking. in fact its so bad that if there were any more then 3 people in a room i would whisper or not talk at all. i was considered a quiet kid. one day my dad sat me down as explained that fear is like living in a cave with a beast. The beast is protecting us from the wilds outside but it is also stopping us from leaving the cave and experiencing the world outside the cave. This resonated with me to level i didnt fully understand at the time. I then saw that the only way to defeat the beast isnt to fight it, it isnt to rail against it or get angry with it.

its to ignore it.

i entered my schools public speaking competition ignoring that fear and i won. I was elected to go into the State School public speaking competition and won. i then went to the nationals and won that. if i still held that fear i would never have accomplished that. i now can talk to large crowds with a sense of exhilaration instead of one of "holy **** im going to throw up on the headmaster".

i dare you to go do something you fear.

you might get rejected. you might fail. you might get hurt. you might even feed.

but you still did it.

and if that doesnt count for something then i dont know what does.