Hello dotaforians,
I haven't been that active recently (not that someone would have missed me) because I am currently in Portugal and experiencing the friendly, open-minded portuguese people - well...most of them are.
But even if I wasn't busy visiting Portugal I would probably visit the dotafire forum less than I did in the past if at all.
Why?
Because the forum has changed. Don't get me wrong, change can be a good thing:
New faces, new ideas, etc. But it's just not the same anymore.
Dotafire used to be about people discussing in a friendly way, sharing ideas, theorycrafting, sharing their amazing ideas of heroes and lore (looking at you Terathiel).
When I joined dotafire everybody seemed to be acting completly natural, saying what they thought without anyone's feelings being hurt.
But recently there were a lot of discussions going badly, people pointing fingers at people, people were starting arguments where in the past there have been discussions.
We seemed to be no longer able to c…
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I know this forum isn't their for things like this but I needed a place to talk about this and I feel...well socially attached to this forum. I don't feel like I am really wanted or really respected by others but at least I am accepted. I am that guy who is there...

I wanted to write this down because I figured out that I need to do it.
I suffer from depression because I was bullied hard for three years in school and appearently I am still not over it. Many times I was on the brink of killing myself which is no joke - I was completely convinced that I didn't deserve it. I had everything I needed but I wasn't happy and had no friends. I was sure I was just a burden for everyone.

This was one of the must dire stages in my life and it ended at the time in which I met a person while playing Dota who was nice to me and after 20 minutes of thought I sent him a friend invite.
I was sure he would decline but something within me hoped that I could still find a person who would like me, a per…
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