PlayDotA|SECXIIKILLA's Dendi/WinkieDuck Tinker

INTRODUCTIONS

This is WinkieDuck style Tinker. For those of you ***s who don't know who WinkieDuck is, go to playdota.dom and browse through the Tinker guides. That's how I learned Tinker.

PROS

He's the ******* Tinker, *****.
He fires a pure damage nuke.
One of the best (if not the best) teamfight hero.
Great antipush.
Great pusher.
Global map awareness.
If you're good, you barely die.

CONS

You're ****ed if they have a Silencer, unless you are super, wait, never mind, **** that, you'll still get ****ed.
If you don't get BoT by 15 minutes, you're pretty much ****ed up.

SKILLS

LASER
Pure damage nuke. Has many uses. For example, it hits magic immune units; it doesn't deal damage, but it still places a 3-second miss on the unit. You can escape with BoT in these three seconds. It also makes people "OMFG WHAT THE **** HOW COME ULTRA DEIMIDJ."

ROCKETS
Multi-unit nuke. Pretty straightforward, but it has amazing range. Not global though. Always fire rockets first before using laser. This is because you need sight for rockets. Just don't ****ing ask questions and fire rockets first.

MARCH
****ING AWESOME TEAMFIGHT. THIS DESERVES CAPS LOCK, **********ER. IMBA DAMAGE. A DOUBLE MARCH WILL ALMOST ALWAYS GARNER YOU A RAMPAGE IN A TEAMFIGHT WHEN USED RIGHT.

REARM
The skill that defines Tinker. Best skill in the game, easily. Makes Tinker such a threat; but also makes him a mana-*****. They need their mana-***, so give him his mana *** because he's ****ing craving for some mana-****.

EARLY GAME

Always solo mid. No questions.
Tell your ******* support to buy a courier.
Be aggressive. Aggro those **********ing creeps. Last hit. Deny. You should always win the lane with Tinker. No matter what. I've won lanes against Pudge, Viper, Beastmaster, even Batrider. ****ing crazy, right? The key is being a non-dumbass and playing defensively and offensively at the same time. Once you master this, you will always win your lane with any hero.
Try to get bottle around the 2-minute mark. Like, around 1:30 and 2:30. This is essential to lane control.
You are free to buy wards for additional lane control and ****.
Concentrate on that bottle. **** top lane, **** bot lane. **** them. You must have your bottle for ganking.


DIRECTION OF EARLY GAME MARCHING
So, you know how the lane is like, a 45� angle with your screen (almost, shut the **** up)? Yeah, so you march in such a way that those machines will make a 90� angle with the creeps. Or, for clearer understanding, go to WinkieDuck's Tinker guide on playdota.com

Concentrate on that bottle, *****.

MIDDLE GAME

Oh, you survived.
Time to gank, *****.
As soon as you get bottle, you farm for that BoT. Farm like there's no ****ing other. Killsteal that carry. You're like a honey badger during this BoT-getting phase. Once you've got BoT, there's really no other reason for you to KS because you can push everywhere.

After that BoT, get a Soulring. Always a soulring. Why? Oh, because it makes up for your level 1 rearm. 150 mana for 150 health, and a bottle refills your health by 150. Magic, *****, magic. BUT ALWAYS HIT SOULRING FIRST BEFORE BOTTLE. IF YOU HIT BOTTLE FIRST THEN SOULRING NEXT, BOTTLE REGEN WILL CANCEL, SO JUST DO IT.

After that soulring.....

GLOBAL PUSH SEQUENCE ACTIVATED

PUSH ****ING EVERYWHERE

BOT THEN TOP, THEN BASE, THEN MID, THEN BOT, THEN TOP, THEN BASE, THEN BASE, THEN BASE, THEN TITS, THEN SCARLETT JOHANSSON, THEN **** ERRBODY

**** YOUR TEAM WHO SAYS "OMG TINKER U NIID 2 PUSH WIF ***"

Lol jk, push with them, help then kill *****es.

But afterwards, proceed with GLOBAL PUSH SEQUENCE ACTIVATED.

After SR, two nulls. Two nulls.

After those, get a Mystic Staff. However, if you hit level 14 without having Mystic Staff (you should already have Staff before or during 14), get level 2 rearm. You must have level 2 rearm because this is where the gamebreaking clashes happen. That 1 second counts.

LATE GAME AND TEAMFIGHT ETIQUETTE

You made it.

Now, you are a prime target during clashes. Your **** hurts, man. Be flattered, you fat ****.

Always stay behind enemy lines before and during clashes. Before so they won't know you're there, and during so they won't know you're there but you're actually ********ing them with constant marches, rockets, lasers, sheeps, blinks, and rearms. Crazy ****.

If you want to participate in a teamfight, you should always cast marches, then rocket someone, then laser someone, then blink to the direction that the enemy is going, rearm, then march again.

However, you must cast double march. Stay behind enemy lines.

Also, laser that carry. They got BKB? NPNP, taste 100% miss ****, *****. They won't stand a chance.

Marches also hurt magic immunes.

Once you're done killing those enemy **********ers off, you go tp back home, refill your *** (mana and hp) and go push in another lane that your team isn't already pushing.


IN ORDER TO CALL YOURSELF A TINKER PLAYER YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST 15 KILLS.

1V1 ETIQUETTE

OH, SO THAT URSA WANTS TO ATTACK YOU? HE THINKS YOU'RE SOME SOFT **** THAT IS EASY TO BEAT? NPNPNP **********ER, DON'T WORRY. FIRST, YOU SHEEP HIM. THEN YOU CAST MARCHES. THEN YOU ROCKET THEN LASER. YOU MUST HAVE FAST HANDS AS WELL. LET'S DO A QUICK LESSON:

FAST HANDS/FINGERS EXERCISES:

FAPPING
FAPPING
FINGERING GIRLS
FINGERING ********S
FINGERING YOURSELF
ewww wtf

LET'S CONTINUE. YOU MUST EXECUTE THIS COMBO IN LESS THAN TWO SECONDS SO YOU CAN PERMASHEEP THAT BITCHASS URSA. ONCE YOU COMPLETE THE COMBO ONCE, REARM. ONCE YOU DO THAT, IMMEDIATELY SHEEP HIM AND DO THE COMBO OVER AGAIN. THE DOUBLE MARCHES WILL DEAL ALMOST INSANE AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE, AND YOUR DOUBLE ROCKET-LASER COMBO IS ~1400 (do the maths you nerd) DEIMIDJ. ALSO WORKS WELL WITH A DAGON.

OH, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE MANA, YOU ****ING RUN LIKE A ***** AND SAY "i got bored so i just let your sorry *** go"


EDIT: ****, the laser thing works against linken, not bkb, my bad

OTHER SHIT YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT

If you read this guide and are succeeding with Tinker, you must say GLOBAL PUSH SEQUENCE ACTIVATED once you get BoT.

If you're laning against a difficult-*** enemy, SUCK IT THE **** UP. YOUR TEAM WILL PROBABLY CALL YOU NOOB, BUT TAKE IT LIKE A MAN AND IMPROVE.

Some of my matches:

85632555 (pretty good, I had lots of money that I accumulated. I woulda had about 20k if I didn't spend all of my ****.)
84164642 (we lost :()
82982574 (I had no deaths! Even against an AM, the bane of all INT heroes, especially ones who are mana-*****s like TInker.)
82600051

Add me if you want to play! :)

PlayDotA|SECXIIKILLA