How to play dota in pub - how to play with my bad mates

Introduction

[THIS GUIDE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION, PLEASE WAIT BEFORE RAITING IT]
Dota, as others MOBA, is a strategic game where skill, knowlege and teamwork are the fundation of a good game.
But pub propose you a totally different kind of game, where your most powerfull thing is the psychologic war.

ps: Sorry for my quite bad english, this is not my mothertongue.

How to win (choose a hero)

Since planying creeps is not yet implemented, you have to pick a hero. Remember, there can be russians in your team, so don't pich a support if you are in solo queue. just take a powerfull carry who got an escape, to dash out of loses teamfight.

If you are more than 2 mates, you can play 'skilled', by picking some support heroes, but remember to get a carry, it's the only way to win.

here is a list of heroes you can use in pubs to easy win. usually, opposite team will let you farm. remember, killing a hero gives you 255golds, and it's the amount of gold for killing 8 creeps. if you're good to last hit, it can be more interessing to let ennemies gank other lane, while it let you farm faster.

Strenght
- chaos night
- pandaren brewmaster
- huskar
- pudge
- axe
- slardar
- leoric
- night stalker (be carefull, early day is difficult if all your team fail)

Agility
- Anti mage
- morphling
- riki
- sniper
- bounty
- naga siren
- void
- phantom assassin

Intelligence
- Storm spirit
- windrunner
- lina
- furion
- outworld destroyer
- dark seer
- silencer
- ogre magi

you can try dazzle too, he's a killer early game if you know how to play him. if you're with a friend of yours, you can pick a carry and him (for example dazzle and slardar)

Pro and Cons : witch hero have i to choose ?

[in construction]

How to win a psychologic war

First of all, if your team is a brunch of noobs who are just tring to feed more and more, keep cool. you can say something as "omg, why didn't you buy a tp at the shop to escape", but please don't say "OMG NOOB L2P". it isn't the good way, they will be pretty mad and will be playing worse and worse.

Your strategy with the enemy team is totally different. every time you notice an unskilled action, you have to say it. if you want to stay quite polite, and make the totally mad, you just have to use a key on you keyboard : near a, q, or a letter at the lft side of it, there's a powerfull key called 'CAPS LOCK'. this is litterally the key to win.

HOW TO USE CAPS LOCK.
AS YOU CAN SEE, CAPS LOCK IS ANNOYING, EVEN IF I MAKE A REAL SENTENCE. by using this simple trick, ennemies will be a bit mad.

you can use a ****ty orthograph, and, combined with you're ultimate power, the bad grammar, you can turn them totally mad.

one of the most powerfull strat consist in ganking 3-4 vs 1, killing him, and say
"WY DID U RUN ?", or things like this.

if you are carrying, you can caps lock in youre team. it will provide a buff "-5 to you're team madness". Since it's really efficient, use it as long as possible. if you're using your main char, and you're shure you'll be totally feeded, you cans say, at start of the game "HI MATES. I IS LE VOID. I CARRY U ARD DONT WORRY".
be carefull, this is really dangerous: if you fail your early game, your mates will say that's you're a perfect noob, and you're madness team will be higher than the other one.

tanks everyone in your team. if there's a man who buy a courrier, say him "TY YOUR TRU BRO".

How to win with russians in your team

this is really difficult. Some says it's impossibru

some of them know how to play, and sometimes speak english. but it's verry uncomon, and often, the only way to speak with them is to say 'davaï' on vocal chat.

if they are 'classic russians' (hear noob as a pen, a wall, or everything with the iq of a chair), you can troll them, it's not a problem.

but always remmember, russians in your team are probably drunk, so don't be mad about their lack of skill.