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Hello guys. My Name is Bin Laden....Osama Bin Laden....damn thats too filmy.
Anyway im here to discuss about the topic for which new players are here to check my guide that is ....Legends of Osama.
So first of all I will brag around about my Title of the ''undisputed world hide and seek champion''
You all remember me for all the good work i did for humanity and for world to make it a safer place to live.
What? you thinkin i had masterminded the 9/11 incident....no no bros and girls and hoes..actually we were goin for suicide bombing practice in U.S.A...my ****in co-pilot dropped his coke on the controls and i wasnt able to control the plane..
Fortunately, being a pro, i always carry tp's with me. co pilot sure noob didnt had it as he wanted to buy a dagon although he had one upgraded to dagon 5.
So i survived but people think i did that delibrately.
Anyway lets start with the guide.
wait, what u wanna know how i came back to this world..well then let me start with what happened after my death...NOTHING!...i came back after 3 seconds of my death back to this beautiful place in 3 seconds and found myself in Playboy mansion.
Well how the **** i came back in 3 seconds???.....(Aegis bro,damn u all dont know dota)
Anyway how i got aegis is a story of two best buddies in my teenage...Roshan and me were best friends, we fell in love with this beautiful girl... with that sexy ***...ahh ah no no.. wait i was saying she had sexy *** ! wow ....no no no no... i was saying she chose roshan instead of me cause....well she was a *****..*****es love big ****s right?!That was quite sad moment for me. I said i had a smaller **** than urs..ahh roshan said he will give me some things stuffs! to get better..( I expected viagra) but it turned out much better...FOOD!!
who doesnt love food..he gave me cheese cake...cheese banana... cheese pizza...and cheese with grated cheese and extra cheese on it...And yeah he put his Aegis on cheese pizza as a topping.
So guys thats my story. TO listen to more about me,go google my name...cause google is always the answer.
Lets move on to the chapter about ....for which you all came from.
How to improve in dota for beginners and boobs. BOOBS! Who said boobs.. where are boobs..sorry noobs ...i meant noobs.
How to improve? What are the basics everybody tell you all about?
Dont autoattack....you all heard this **** for a long time. Dude stop autoattacking.
Tired of hearing this to this answer when you ask someone to teach me basics of Dota? Well there are way way way more things to learn to improve in Dota. Well if you get to know what those basics are Call Me at 66-000-666....wait thats the number of McDonalds.
Ok Jokes aside ... before pressing that absolutely tasty button of find match in main menu which you all have been waiting for a long time.
Go play the training mode.
Im serious it helps a lot. Obviously you all knew it already that training is full of ****.
Believe me its not. Its way more trash than you all thought.
I mean come on who plays a hero like Dragon Knight...where in earth is his invisible ability. You cant kill watch you cant see right!
And who buys a circlet.
Well atleast you can AFK to get enough passive gold to achieve the ultimate aim of the game.
Dagon.
The whole aim of training mode is to recognize the best item of the game...items counter heroes. Thats what i learned in Dota. And this statement is my first rule of Dota. Every item has its own utility. Every item has its own value and every item has the capability to win from any situation.
But there are so many items!. Well then let me tell you the particular items that win in
every situation.
Shadow Blade.
Invisibilty means invincibility.
Dagon.
Damn man, do i really need to explain it. Make a Dagon for lion and burst the **** out of that ****in P.A who has two butterfly because she thought evasion is immortality and Bkb gives strength and damage is too low in a BKB.
Dagon 5.
Well self-explanatory
Shadow Amulet.
AFK a game has never been this easy without the fear of abandon.
Now i can watch that Tori Black video while my noob teammates can try hard only to eventually get fountain dived and humiliated.
Ahh i love WWE!.
Ok i wont talk about it...PG era is so **** but still i watch it... ok ok i wont talk more about WWE and any outside topics apart from Dota.
So i taught you some invaluable lessons about invaluable item named Dagon...its time to go for a match against humans. I know you all have played. But as im forced to write 5000 words ...i have to explain what to do from start till the time you see your ancient falling and in the end when you begin the real fun of game....Blaming your teammates with classic GG NOOB TEAMMATE leading the way to insult your mates who tried to deward the ward your enemy planted on your rune spot near roshan pit only for you so you can safely take that invisibility rune although you are playing riki.
So as you spawn first thing to do is buy items which will help you survive in laning stage before you start making your late game items...because mid game items like a simple Yasha or Drums does no good when you can get a ****in 30 minute Butterfly on a Phantom Assasin instead of 50 minute with stout shield and brown boots. Buy boots only if you get first blood because you got a little bit of extra gold..else boots gonna delay your late game items.
If you prepare for late game early then you can ease your way through to victory in late game as others are unprepared and your are way ahead of all.
Ok so we come to the main topic of Dota.
Understanding what heroes do and what they are supposed to do.
First basics, so lets start with categories in which hero fall.
There are 2 main categories and many sub categories explaining which hero play what role.
Main categories are-
1. Carry -
Carries are heroes that are supposed to farm gold in early game so that they can be powerful enough to be able to 'carry' there team to victory.
They are usually dependant on some core items, so they are given priority to farm there particular item while rest team try to hold the game and help him get his item faster by stacking camp and keep jungle warded for carry's safe farm.
Example of Some Carries-
Riki
RIki
Riki with a set
Riki without smoke
RIki with Shadow Blade
Riki with radiance
RIkimaru
RIki-Maru
CYKA Riki
2.Support -
These are heroes which have very low base damage and unable to farm gold fast.
So they are given a degraded job of warding and buying the courier.
Low damage? really....wats the point of such heroes...my daedulus will be useless now..
Wait...they play a different role in game..
Generally they are EXPECTED to make carry farm well...by giving them last hits and denying the creeps..pulling creep wave to keep lane control.
And then thats wat expected cause carry players feel like kings and are too cocky.
They surely dont know generous words like Thanks for warding or thanks for saving there where u sacrificed ur life for ur carry so that his farm doesnt go waste.
Dont ever expect that...In reality they see you as a feeder...
For example- **** you AA or Crystal maiden..u just 1-10 in 30 mins.
And then comes the classic evergreen GG Noob Maiden...****in feeder..fat
Zeus.
What you are supposed to do is....Are u all so dumb really..dont u remember what i told u ..items counter heroes and situations.
Make a dagon and blink dagger...Your PA fighting against a Lycan.
Blink and wait for lycan to almost die...Boom u got assist for staying near...ummm about 190 coins or more...wait PA will get 400 or more if she kills....ahh dumb girl hit that dagon and get kill..BOOM there...you got kill and kills...3 wards in stock you have 1400 coins.and your courier isnt a flying one...what should you do is really simple.
Buy Shadow Amulet.
Ultimate and then shadow blade when playing crystal maiden and BOOM boys ....You see all chat full of Pro CM...10-1 as a support..wow nice support although you didnt ward a single time near roshan although Ursa is in enemy team.
So thats how you play a support.
Moving on to next chapter which is...Noodles!! Oh sorry my instant noodles are ready.
Think you cant understand the community well.
So let me first explain the people you will meet. So that you can sync well with your teammates because you need partners and friends to blame ur noob mate when your ancient falls.
There are many servers and every server have people of different nature.
1.Mother Russia
2.SE Russia-sia
3.West Russia
4.East Russia
5.United States of Russia.
6.America's South filled with Russians
7.Russians playing in Korea
8.Black Russians in Africa
9.Rainbow nation of Russia.
So Basically you will face 9 different kind of people.
Quite difficult to understand all?? well i explain the similarity.
1.They wont speak english. So i will teach you few words of Russian.The Answer is always CYKA...if they say "Lets Roshan", say CYKA.
If they ask to "Defnd Mid",tell them CYKA...If they ask "What is your mom's name", tell them CYKA.
2.They will steal your Double Damage rune although you almost reached there and the person is playing Rubick while you are playing Templar Assasin with a bottle.
3.
There are situations that will always occur in every game of Dota.
You need to express how you gonna counter such situations and your opinions about all situations.
So we start from the start.When you spawn..
" Crow Please" Crow is the short term for courier Because you will need your boots and bottle when going mid playing a Crystal Maiden as you need your Shadow blade fast.
which takes us to the next line to be wrote in chat is....
"Mid or Feed" The unwritten law of Dota declares that whoever writes "Mid or Feed" or "CYKA Mid"
is the only person eligible to go mid and a person trying to go mid too should be reported.
To make sure the second person coming mid to get punishment is to write 3 times in all chat - "Report Pudge.. Noob Hooks..Report Pudge ..GG Noob"
In 10% cases you will find some other hero other than pudge coming to take your mid lane.
2 mid is impossible which brings you to , well a little off-topic but important part of game --- Pinging.
This is a war....often spectated by your teammates as "Ping Wars" where you press Alt and left click on the teammate who you want to leave lane so you can secure farm for yourself.
Pinging continously shows how good you are in "Ping wars" and you earn respect hence you write commend me in end of the game.
Another very important thing is when you get ganked....OK so ganking is new term to you....go google it why should i tell everything....OK ok im writing a guide so i am responsible new terms to new players.
So Ganking is a....move where you with your teammates go and kill a person because you outnumber him.
Before starting a Gank..write "Smoke please". Doesnt matter if you are standing in base ******** you need 100 for Teleport why will you buy the smoke..you already wasting 100 for TP, why will you buy a smoke and delay your daedulus while playing Phantom Assasin.
So when you all set to gank, try to get the last hit which is hit a nuke ability you have in your arsenal. Which explains why Dagon is the ultimate item in this game.
But what if you get ganked...surely there are reasons that the other team made a successful gank.
1.Blame support for not putting all 4 wards in your jungle...
2.Call in All-Chat the enemy as "*******" and "3 vs 1?? Hahahahah so hard to kill me?
Noob Magina cant fight like a man"
3.Go to jungle again and keep jungling until the other team is tired of ganking you.
If you escape from a surprise attack from enemy like Pudge's hook...make sure you write this cute little "?". This question mark just rub salt in the wounds of ur enemy and you cheekily make them realise that you are a pro to dodge a hook.
And last but not least...ping the **** out of your team mates ....
THere are many situation where you should ping on your team mates constantly.
One you know when you fight for mid lane.
Other is most important...when a team mate manage to survive and run back to base after a 5v5 war...ping quickly when you die and show your other mates what a coward the man manage to survive is and that he hardly cares about the team.
First of all thanks for reading my guide to this chapter because I don't expect many to read this long guide.
Secondly, leave your comments below because I really have many things to write but need your opinion. So go and try to write comment whatever you think, until the moment where you realise you need to Make an account and then you will just leave this page and watch some Teletubbies videos.
And lastly but not least, its about a random stranger who wrote a guide...wait you lazy ***es I give you link
Your text to link here...
This guide inspired me to write this wonderful and beginner friendly guide and well on a serious note comment and praise that man because i didnt..too lazy to make account.
Thanks for reading till this line and tolerate another long guide and skiping many chapters.
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