Full Metal Alchemist

Well, fuck.

Okay. SO you've just decided to random and you're stuck with this piece-of-**** hero that just happens to be the worst ****ing feeder in the Dota 2 world with an abysmal 40% winrate. Woe is you, your team is mad, and you're scared to play this hero because you're a horrible player and you'll know you're going to feed with the worst hero in the game. Well, guess what? People aren't using him right. People are overestimating his ultimate and go all rambo-style and tower-diving and charging into 5 heroes with this badass **********er. And they're right. Alchemist sucks balls.

So, what in the world is this guide about?

Introduction

Well, despite your extremely horrible luck, there is still hope. You might actually, you know, have some fun with this hero. And build him like that.
Alchemist has the only skill in the world that lowers his BAT, which multiplies +attack speed items, giving him the potential to out-AS antimage if there is the opportunity. Not only that, he has a passive skill, that, on paper, could make him the fastest farmer if given unrestricted farm. So let's build him like a carry right?

Wrong.

Skills

Let's talk about his skills.
Acid Spray is like a ****ing desolator for the whole other team...an AOE desolator at that. Do you realize how OP this skill is? It's like a top tier item for absolutely free, not even joking. But it ain't stopping there, the real use of this ****ing skill is mind-games man. Mind. Games. I mean, there's ****ing green **** everywhere, no ****ing way an enemy is going to dive your tower. It does abysmally low dmg, but that huge aoe of spewing deadly poison whateverthe****thatis is enough to scare your opponents silly.

Okay, and your Unstable Concoction is one of the longest stuns in the game. Charge it in the fog so your oppponents have no idea until it blasts up in your face, or charge it anyways when you know when you're going to die to hope you can stun them and your allies can finish them off for you. This is your core spell in the game, and during midgame a >300 nuke and ~5 second stun is no laughing matter, especially since it got recently buffed so that enemies can't see the second indicator.

Don't skill Goblin's Greed because farming is anti-fun.

Your Chemical Rage is kind of broken, and I have found that the best way to use it is when you are roaming or towerdiving because it has a disgustingly low cooldown and provides unlimited regen. Think of it like a walking fountain; this is what keeps you at full mana from spamming acid spray and your extremely amazing stun.

Items

Quelling blade for ****ing up trees. Branches 'cause it wins you games. Now, the item that will make all the difference early game: Orb of Venom. Seriously, you see a hero out of position. Clop the **** out of that **********er, and chase them all the way to tower, and by that time, they shouldn't be running anymore, because they're ****ing DEAD. And once you get Phase Boots, there's no escaping anymore for your puny tasty enemies.


Now, the most important item here, Blademail for ****ing **** up. Now, by this point, you should be THE tank and smile as puny supports throw their ticklish nukes at you while you strut in like no problem and **** **** up. Note the amazing regen of his ult; if you find yourself slightly low pop it up and regen everything back in no time.

Now you've got your core up, build whatever the hell you like; seriously.

You're ready.

Playing this motherfucker

Once you hit 6 you should start roaming. The order is this:

1. Find a target
   
2. Start charging your Unstable Concoctionin the fog
   
3. Use Quelling Blade to cut down 1 or 2 trees for a short path to the enemy
   
4. Run through the path with your charged stun and completely surprise the enemy
   
5. Drop your Acid Spray for the imba deso debuff
   
6. Type "Surprise **********er" in all chat
   
7. Proceed to rape said enemy with your teammates
   
8. Use Chemical Rage for the insane mana and hp regen while ganking between lanes or towerdiving since it has a ridiculously low cd
   
   Rinse and Repeat