Naala, The Broken Angel

I did this in the Dota 2 Wiki format, fyi.

Broken Angel

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Naala the Broken Angel is a ranged intelligence hero who can take on the role of support or semi-carry, depending on the player's playstyle. An unholy and dangerous hero, Broken Angel possesses abilities that excel at hindering enemy advances.

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Bio

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Role: Disabler/Lane Support/Initiator/Semi-Carry

Lore:

Before there were people, there was the world, and there was the Above. The Omniscience inhabits the Above, along with his acolytes and angels. The angels did as he bid them, doing holy work in the name of their god. Naala was one such angel. She rose in favor with the Omniscience, but also in power. She became hungry for more, and the Omniscience grew wary of her presence. Other angels began disappearing, and Naala would ask for their powers. The Omniscience cast her down to the empty world below. Her skin cracked when she hit the soil, and from it rose The Broken Angel. Scraps of skin still cling to her new form, as she wanders, seeking vengeance upon the Omniscience.

Primary Attribute: Intelligence
Affiliation: The Dire
Base Strength: 17 + 1.8
Base Agility: 13 + 1.4
Base Intelligence: 27 + 3.2
Base Health: 473
Base Mana Pool: 351
Base Damage: 50-60
Base Armor: 1.4 + 1.9 from agility
Movement Speed: 315
Sight Range: 2200/1200
Attack Range: 600
Missile Speed: 1500
Attack Duration: 0.56 + 0.94

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Abilities

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[Q] Dark Light

Ability: Target Point
Affects: Enemies
Damage: Pure
Description: Broken Angel channels the power of the nether, summoning a column of darkness to damage and stun enemies, as well as briefly decrease their vision.
Range: 950
Radius: 150/200/250/300
Stun Duration: 2
Damage: 60/120/180/240
Vision Reduction: 450
Vision Reduction Duration: 15
Cooldown: 30/25/20/15
Mana Cost: 100/130/160/190

[W] Trial by Fire

Ability: Target Unit
Affects: Enemies
Damage: Magical
Description: Broken Angel summons a column of fire upon the enemy unit, dealing a percentage of the enemy's health in damage over time. If they survive it, they regain full health.
Range: 450
Damage per Second: 6%/7%/8%/10%
Duration: 7
Cooldown: 70/55/40/25
Mana Cost: 150/200/250/300

[E] Mana Drain

Ability: Channeled
Affects: Enemies
Description: CHANNELED - Absorbs the magical energies of a target enemy unit by taking mana from it every second.
Range: 850
Channel Time: 5
Mana per Second: 20/40/60/120
Break Distance: 1200
Cooldown: 20/15/10/5
Mana Cost: 10

Ultimate: [R] Fallen Warrior

Ability: No Target
Affects: Self
Description: Broken Angel calls upon the Above. Those who still hold her in favor will arrive at her side to fight with her. Note: If you have warriors on the field and you use this ability, they will be replaced by the new warriors.
Warriors Summoned: 1/2/3
Duration: Until Killed
Warrior HP: 700/1200/1700
Warrior Damage: 50/80/110
Warrior Armor: 7/8/9
Warrior Magic Resistance: 20%
Warrior Health Regeneration: 2HPs/4HPs/6HPs
Cooldown: 150/120/60
Mana Cost: 200/300/400
Aghanim's Scepter:
Warrior HP: 900/1400/1900
Warrior Damage: 60/90/120
Cooldown: 120/90/45
Mana Cost: 150/250/350

Please tell me what you think in the comments below. Suggestions and criticisms are welcome.

A very cool and interesting hero. The skills seem unique, especially Trial by Fire. Trial by fire does seem very powerful though, especially would be early game.

Yes. I was rereading a few moments ago and did think that "Trial by Fire" seemed a bit OP. I changed the damage to be smaller early game. Granted, it will do tremendous amounts late game. However, if they survive it, they regain full health, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Very unique and balanced ideas. Maybe put a duration (180?) to the warriors, because I could just hide them somewhere until late-game, then have hordes 2000hp warriors...

I will put a note explaining this in the post. The "Fallen Warrior" ability works similarly to Lone Druid's Summon Spirit Bear ability. Every time you use it, any existing warriors are replaced by new ones with full health and anything extra they might aqcuire from the ability being upgraded.

oh. Makes sense now. Thanks for clarifying.

Edit to hero:
"Dark Light" ability now also reduces the target's vision for 15 seconds. This is good for escapes and what not. Again, if you have any suggestions or criticisms please post below.

Sorry to post twice on my own thread, but I want to get this back to the top of the forum. I do think it is a unique idea and I want as many people to comment as possible. Please criticize Naala below!

Sorry to post twice on my own thread, but I want to get this back to the top of the forum. I do think it is a unique idea and I want as many people to comment as possible. Please criticize Naala below!

Well, a comment you want a comment you'll get. First I will open up by saying good things about this idea: I like your first skill idea that combines stun and vision reduction (as vision reduction is rarely used in dota), and how you make your hero to have a fixed role as nuker. The ult also seems rather interesting for me because it makes you possible to go to jungle for the sake of taking their mana (using the warriors as tank). If you are rather sensitive, please stop reading because I will now point out what I think is bad things about your hero. Note that I do not intend to offend or attack you personally, I'm just being as objective and truthful as I can.

This hero as a whole is rather ridiculous. Why? The breaking point was broken when you created a spell that deals 1100 damage (mind you, non ultimate spell) I know, I know, you think it's not OP because it has a high risk that if it fails to kill, it will give your enemy full HP. However, if I am to play this hero, I will play her mid that acts like Pudge. First few minutes in the game (until level 7) I'll be as tame as a dog and just take as much farm and as much exp as I can. Once I reach level 7? Bye-bye supports! I mean, come on! Q skill is capable to stun for 2 seconds from 950 freaking range without any delay. It is impossible to miss or be evaded. And the stun serves as a certainty to land your 1100 damage. So, going by this calculation the enemy will receives at most (1100*75%)= 825 + 180 = 1005 damage. Mind you that I have already counted the magic reduction. Seriously, if you play mid the others would most likely be at level 4 or so, how many heroes can survive 1005 damage at that level? Furthermore, the first skill stuns for 300 AoE, meaning that even if you are to kill the carry, their supports won't be able to help because they are locked down.

Now to the ultimate skills. You lack detail. A lot of it. What is the damage of the warriors? What is their armor? How much bounty do they give? Do they have mana? Do they have magic resistance or magic invulnerability? How quick do they move? How quick do they attack? You did not state any of these, thus making it impossible for me to understand their power. Furthermore, the third skill is clearly a rip off of Lion skill and you might want to change the way it works (it's not like it's improbable to stay, I mean both Queen of Pain and Anti-Mage share Blink)

I'm sorry if I did offend you, but I'm being as truthful and objective as I can (I can actually continue if you do want me to)