I try to be proactive... I ask him... what am I not doing? All he says is watch the replay and demands that I play another match with him. Now... this is a guy who has stalked me for matches because he claims I am a good player even though his level is higher than mine. I get tilted from his complaining and decide to call it a night. I decide to take a night to study things and not play, and as soon as he logs in, he speaks to me in all caps yelling at me to play with him. I block his *** and continue my study on infamous pro gamers and how successful girl gamers do their thing.
I found out there was a stereotype of women that play support. It makes sense to me because we're usually the one taking care of things for other people. Not saying that men don't, but not only as a woman, but a Christian, I'm used to serving others. I'm very old fashioned, but I'm also 35, so it comes with the territory. It's a mother thing. You need to make sure your kids are "fed and taken care of". Like any good mother, I give my "kids" my gold so they can succeed in life.
I personally gravitated to the role because I like doing the jobs nobody wants. It's what's gotten me far in life. I researched before I went to play and learned about the support role. While Crystal Maiden is usually a "girl" hero, I went with Lich. He's easy to use and very independent with his sacrifice ability. Lich has been my first love ever since. I like ranged support over melee because I can also harass much more easily, giving my team more time to eat up those creeps. Now that denied creeps give you some exp, though, I find myself less underleveled with the new patch. Unlike most supports that I've gamed with, I use my mic to my advantage even when the team doesn't have one. I call out positions of the enemy, where runes are, announce when I'm going warding... all sorts of stuff to help the rest of the team while I cover them.
It's a hard decision to expand my horizons, though, because everyone wants to be the damn carry. Sometimes I have to choose... do I want to play Ursa and try again? ... Or do I want to win the match? I've learned the hard way that when someone plays support... about half the time, the idiot builds them as a damn carry and jungles to death instead of covering my lane. My worst Sniper match was a "gang thump the Sniper" day when I started to out shoot the Clinkz in my lane. All the while during level 1-11, Enchantress was in the forest farming **** when I kept screaming for help when Pudge and Slaark started beating me to a pulp with Clinkz... and it wasn't just in bottom lane! Noooooo, I went top with Dragon Knight and they all followed me there too! FINALLY, the Treant Protector drops a Sentry on my lane, so now I feel safe enough to push lane again... NOPE! Pudge, well... Pudges me, Slaark and Clinkz all slap the **** out of me, and Enchantress is going "laaa laalalala" in the jungle and FINALLY decides to help mid lane when everyone starts pushing.
If you are playing a character who is considered support... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, tell the group you are doing a different build! People have certain expectations of characters and if you go off the beaten path you need to tell someone. If, in the match, I see that we need more firepower... I ASK THE PARTY FIRST if I should shift my build to buy a Daigon instead of a Mek or greaves.
Today was a very informative day, though. I learned several things while watching the pros.
Movement is all. Positioning, items that help you move... whatever. Most of the party wipes are from teams that stay too close together when the **** hits the fan. I also learned that one dose of Smoke affects the entire party. Basic, but now I know why the pros use it so much! Tree lines are your friend, especially at night. Having an item that cuts them down opens a whole new world of escape routes. Another thing I noticed is that a lot of these pro matches don't have a lot of deaths until late in the game. I guess that's a product of everyone knowing how not to die.
I've also noticed a trend among girl gamers in general. They look cute or sexy. Not a bad thing, but I'm beginning to understand the stereotype. I'm a very... masculine woman. Not a lesbian, mind you, I'm thick boned and prefer men's clothes to feel confident. I feel like... it's a general consensus that girl gamers are not feared.
I want to change that.
Half of my quest to become a pro gamer is to work on my psychology as much as my game. Too many pro gamers buckle under the stress to be the best and end up quitting after a few years. I want to do this into my 70's and still dominate. I might not always be pro in those years, but I want to be respected in this community and in any sequels that this series has to offer.
Whoops! I need to go to bed!
Peace!
Ursula
I see the most common vision of Dota as a reflection of capitalism. Gold is the basic foundation and used as the measurement of your success. Hence everyone wants to be the carry who sees their name on the rampage banner all the time, gets more kills than the enemy team combined, ends with a prohibitively expensive inventory and is given 9 commends every match. Condescendingly, everyone praises the selfless support who sacrifices their life to protect the carry, stays piss poor the whole game and spends what little gold they have on wards.
The kind of friend you describe on your post is the typical toxic carry instapicker. These players not only want all of the above, but they also unknowingly expect you to play godly, magically appearing everywhere and everytime they need you to save their ***es, telepathically knowing when and where they want you to place 10 observer wards at once, and somehow they'd still find something to blame you for. These people unknowingly expect you to fix their mistakes so they don't have to admit them as their own. Don't expect them to learn or improve at all until they change their way of thinking.
If you care for this friend of yours, ask him to watch the replay together so he can point what he thinks you did wrong and what you should have done instead. You can also tell him to pick a support for a game and teach you how to play (because if he criticizes you so much, he surely must know better, right?). How he reacts to these propositions can easily tell you if he's worth playing with.
I think looking beyond gold shows that carries aren't that selfish nor supports that selfless, rather it's the other way around. Carries start useless and will remain useless until they farm enough gold. To do their job, they need supports to do theirs first. Supports, on the other hand, don't depend on anyone to do their thing, don't need expensive items, and wouldn't care about dying if it wasn't for the gold and xp they give to the enemy team; all they need is enough mana to cast their spells.
Players who say "I pick a carry because I don't trust you guys to carry the game" ironically put themselves in the hands of the very people they don't trust. I like to respond with "I pick a support because I don't trust you guys to buy wards, which by the way is something even a toddler could do".
...now how long have I been digressing?