RNGESUS LOVES YOU!

For we have gathered here today to pray to the almighty RNGESUS

and make hopeful that our prays may travel through the heavenly winds and lay themselves down

beside and whisper our wishes into his ears so that we may be blessed by him.

Amendoto.

I am here before this congregation today to relay a Psalm of RNGESUS in his highest form.

I had upon a glorious day 2 weeks past.

decided, in a fit of pure divine intervention, that i would be playing Faceless Void

a beloved child of RNGesus

and it was with the mighty orchestra of the lord gabe surrounding me that entered into the heavenly starting arena of the Dire.

It was then that i noticed a Lion and a Lina had been chosen by the opposing army as knights of their ward, the Radiant.

hence i went about my lane with a vigour reserved only for the children of RNGESUS, claiming last hits with a passion and denying my own soldiers with the mercy of the one above.

it was only after a period of no more then 15 minutes but NAY none less then 10 that i happened upon a incursion by the Red Headed Witch that goes by the name Lina as i had just finished clearing a double stack of the ungodly creatures that inhabit the Jungle of Dire i was feeling a tad poorly... you could even say i was ... at half health haha bad puns i apologize children.

It was at this time that i prayed to RNGESUS and he heard my prayer and answered in swift and righteous fashion.

I Back Tracked Laguna Blade.

and was able to retreat to a safe distance.

it then became common place. i relasied that today i gave glory to RNGESUS.

i Back Tracked Finger of Death Laguna Blade... multiple times. i got 4 Back Track's in a row. i Back Tracked ticks of damage that would kill me. i would escape from those ungodly heathen with 10hp after having RNGESUS protect me with back track after back track after back track. in total i dodged ... 11 ults.

it was at the close fo the game when i stood victorious that the Lion player asked that i be reported.

the sweet taste of victory just was made sweeter.


So my fellow converts i ask of you.

Relay me your stories of when RNGESUS stood over and protected you from harm.

Let us all bask in his almighty Glory.

Hail Gaben. Let us beseech for his favour by sacrificing for his entertainment the contents of one orphanage.

xXx_Gabenislove_Gabenislife_420kushmasta_xXx

Heathens! Infidels! How dare you pray to RNGesus, the false God!

Thou shalt burn on the unstable flames of Hell, behold the one true God,

PSDeity.

Bring me your greatest warriors, oh apostle of RNGesus.

And I shall bring mine.

Bring me Faceless Void, and I shall fight you with Phantom Assassin.

Let us see, which of us is true, and we shall pledge ourselves on the one true God.


.... And then comes Judaism, Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, etc...

oh god cancer is back >.> kappa

Im away two days and... What...

The light of PSDeity shines upon me this day, child. And every day henceforth!

I hath seen the truth of the Pseudo Random. Here is my story!

*

By the guiding brightness, I was brought to the almightiest child of PSDeity, the sharp blade of Axe!

"AXE!"

What? What? Who dares interrupt my story of....Oh. It's you. Why are you here?

"There can be no battle till Axe is at hand. And Axe is."

What are you going on about??? Quiet down and allow me to spread the word of your father in the sky!

"Axe is ready!"

Of course you are. In any event, it started off as a regular 'all pick' match. Pah! All pick? The only ones I am permitted to pick are those blessed by PSDeity! Naturally, I picked the mightiest of the bunch. At this point I believe you know who I picked.

"The Axe-man comes!"

Yes, yes, we know. Anyway, I started the match with a-

"Axe is back and ready to whack! And also hack!"

WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT, YOU NEVER LEFT!

"Axe misjudged?"

... ... ... ... Yes. Yes you did. Go sit in the corner please. Don't make me hit you

"You and what army?"

On second thought (and rapidly changing the subject) you can stay there!

"Ha!"

Are you done?....Ok?...Good. So anyway, I-

"AXE IS BACK!"

OH MY PSDEITY SHUT UP! Ok whatever, basically I got a lot of spins, and got lots of kills. That's it, I'm out!

...
...
...
...

"I said good day sir!"

This RNGesus you speak about... he is a false. The real God you must pray to for luck is Kuduku, and can only be found in 1 game that has really good gameplay, music, and it's hella hard, with ******** mechanics, one shot mechanics, and hell of a good lore. Just the way I like it.



Just listen to it. It's so relaxing and feeling so dark at the same time. And this is datamined, so it's not even completly done yet. Can't wait for the final version and act 4.

what is rngesus

Random Number Generator esus

The Gesus sounds like Jesus

RNGesus: random number God

Dump your fake psdeity and rngesus.

ALL HAIL GABEN, LORD oF DOTA. SAVIOR oF CANCER.